Thursday, April 28, 2011

Loving Your Husband

Treasure Box

"I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make my marriage vows mean what they say. I show up. I listen.
I try to laugh."
~Anna Quindlen
 A Short Guide to a Happy Life

It is that day of the week again, where I pull out something dear to me and share it.  Today, my treasure is the love I have for my husband.  Don't worry, this will not get all gushy and I don't think you will need a tissue, but I do hope that you will take some time to think about what I write.

This is my second marriage.  I am not proud of having a failed marriage in my past, but since my children came from that marriage, I would not wish it away.  Instead, for many years I have done alot of soul searching to learn from past mistakes.  There were seven long years before I said, "I do," again.  God had many things for me to learn before I could learn to respect and love another man the way I respect and love my husband.

When I say I had many things to learn, this is no joke.  Coming from a dysfunctional family, I had no clue what marriage was supposed to be except from what I read in books.  I knew I wanted a man that would love me forever...but I didn't understand what real love is until it was too late.  I knew I wanted a home and a family and I wanted to be the one to stay at home and take care of my family...but I had no clear plan of how this would happen.

So, after the divorce and almost two years of mourning a colossal failure I hit the books.  I made the choice not to be bitter towards men, I had two sons to raise and I wanted them to know I loved them and never question that my motives were for their ultimate best.  I read books to try and understand the mind of men, what they are like as little boys, teens, adults.  How they are so very different from women and how to try and get along with them while embracing those differences instead of trying to make them think like me-or any other woman.

I spent many, many agonizing nights in prayer asking for the heart of God, to see men through His eyes.  I wanted to see them as my brothers, not as people who potentially wanted to hurt me.  Of course God came through and to this day, my very best of friends are men.  I love my sons and thanks to my studies (which continue) I am able to encourage them in the manliness which they were born to.  I dearly love my husband and thanks to my choice not to be embittered, I am able to help him in ways he never thought a woman could.

Because I love my husband, I chose to respect him, his decisions, his priorities and his dreams.  Because I love him, I choose to spend my time in prayer on his behalf.  Because I love him, I choose to study him and get to know him better...his likes, his dislikes, how he thinks, what his facial expressions mean, etc.  Love is a choice and I have chosen to love my husband and love him with the very best that I have to offer!

Please take the time to watch this and meet my new heroine Courtney!
You can find her at: Women Living Well

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